January 24, 2011

Finally feeling a bit more normal again after the Lynch confirmation last week.  One thing I've noticed is that I have a definite pattern with all of this.  The first couple of days are really rough, feeling kind of numb and looking for the nearest rock to crawl under.  Then by day 3 or 4 more rational thinking comes back a bit and I start gathering more information about what exactly we're facing.  By day 7 I feel like I have mostly adjusted to yet another new normal.


That isn't to say I don't still have moments when I just want it to all go away.  It's easy to fall into that spiral of not wanting to accept any of it.  If I kick and scream long enough it will all go away.  But, like I tell my daughter, "has that EVER worked for you?"


Mike and I continue to absorb all we can from whatever resources we can find about Lynch Syndrome.  All of it at this point comes from information we find on-line.  I haven't read so many scientific journal articles since I was in grad school!  We grab onto the positive stuff we find, like a person with colon cancer caused by Lynch has a higher survival rate than a colon cancer not caused by Lynch.  


Actually, I don't think I'm so much afraid of cancer taking over Mike's body (well, I feel that way today, anyway).  It's the uncertainty and all of the unanswered questions that gets to me.  Colon cancer caused by Lynch Syndrome is also known as Hereditary Nonpolyposis Colon Cancer (HNPCC).  The nonpolyposis (no-polyps) means that cancer can just start on its own.  In the majority of non-Lynch colon cancers it starts with a polyp, which can be removed before they cause problems.  With HNPCC there isn't always the "luxury" of having a polyp.  Just *BAM* there's cancer.


So, we continue to gather information, make up our list of questions and wait for the final results of the genetic testing so we can move on to the next stage of this adventure.