Being home is finally hitting Mike. He is worn out and has acknowledged that his body needs to rest. Sleep seems to be the best thing at this point. We went to church this morning and it happened to be outdoors at the park. There was a potluck afterwards, but we came home instead. Just the service was enough for today. I never know just how long to let him sleep. Although, he doesn't seem to be having trouble sleeping at night even with a couple of naps during the day.
The kids are having a bit of a hard time with Daddy being home, but not available. That gets rough on me too. Trying to keep the kids quiet so Mike can sleep when they are indoors, because it is too hot & humid for them to be outside for long, is a challenge. I struggle with calling someone to see if the kids can go over there with feeling like I need to be with the kids instead. Tomorrow through Thursday they will both go to VBS in the morning , so that will help some. At some point I also need to get back to work for awhile to catch up.
I am, however, looking forward to Thursday. Maureen, Michelle & I planned a long weekend several months ago. Non-refundable, of course. At this point the plan is for Mike to stay home and I'll drop the kids off at grandma & grandpa's on the way south. A quiet weekend at home for Mike and a weekend away for me.
I wonder if guilt or relief will be the stronger feeling. Will I feel guilty if I'm relieved to be away? Can I pretend cancer doesn't exist for three days? Sometimes I just feel lost in the middle of all the craziness that is hiding behind the normal.
On June 25, 2010, at age 37, my husband was diagnosed with colon cancer. Following a right-hemicolectomy, genetic testing determined the cause was due to HNPCC/Lynch Syndrome. On December 9, 2011 he had a subtotal colectomy.
I will continue to pray his lymph nodes are clear!
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