Tomorrow is the day. The first day of the rest of our lives, right? I honestly don't know how I feel right now. I think maybe it just doesn't seem real, I don't know. I usually have a lot of feelings one way or another, but tonight I just feel kind of empty. I imagine tomorrow will be a different story.
I worry about the kids, Cal especially. I know he's having a rough time and I hope he can be distracted enough by his grandparents. Selfishly, I only want to be with Mike. I don't want any other responsibilities right now. I am beyond blessed to have parents & in-laws that are spending the week with me in order to take care of Cal & Zoey.
It'll be interesting to see what tomorrow brings. What the doctors will find once they get in there. At this stage of the war that's still an unknown. Based on x-rays and CT scans Mike's lungs and liver look clear, we're banking on that being the case once Dr Dachman digs around.
Time to wrap it up, get my kids in bed & spend some quality time with Mike. He's been nauseous most of the day because of the super-antibiotics he has to take to "sterilize" his colon. I just kind of see it as a taste of what's to come once the chemo starts, I guess.
On June 25, 2010, at age 37, my husband was diagnosed with colon cancer. Following a right-hemicolectomy, genetic testing determined the cause was due to HNPCC/Lynch Syndrome. On December 9, 2011 he had a subtotal colectomy.
Heather,
ReplyDeletePrayers will be going up for you and Mike tomorrow. I know you question your strength to handle this, but believe me when I tell you that you WILL be strong enough. You have to be. Please remember to take care of yourself, too. Take a break every now and then; cry alone or to a friend; take a walk or bubble bath. You will need to recharge.
All my best,
Lori (ronswife)