What a difference a few hours makes following major surgery. Yesterday morning Mike was wowing everyone with his determination to get out of here by walking to the end of the hall and back four times before mid-afternoon. Besides preventing blood clots, walking will help get his bowels working. Let's just say it worked. It's one thing to have an idea of how things will progress, but it doesn't necessarily make things any easier when it happens.
Along with getting aquainted with his new plumbing, Mike had issues with low potassium and was running a fever. The potassium caused his arm to swell up and he had a severe burning sensation in his hand and arm., which we were told that it is an unfortunate side-effect for some people. There were also issues with his pain meds and trying to find a combination of things that would work best for him. After much trial and error I think he's back to what he had in the first place.
It's difficult to see Mike in pain and know there is so little I can do to help. When I left the hospital at midnight he was doing better than he had earlier in the day. and he was sleeping again when I returned to the hospital this morning at 6, but he said he had a rough hour between 4-5. His night nurse has some concern there may be an infection because Mike also had some cramping so they will have to do some labs to check for that.
I am trying to keep all of this seperate from the experience we had with my mom three months ago, but sometimes it's difficult. Getting some sleep last night helped, but I know I'm still distracted and find myself having to push some of those less rational thoughts away to deal with later. I know I still need to deal with the feelings & thoughts that I have pushed down over the last few months in order to function in the present and be fully available to Mike and the kids.
Today though the kids will go back home with Mike's mom and do all of the things 6 & 7 year old kids should do, like Scouts, school, ballet, play with friends. My Dad will head back to Minnesota today and I will stay with Mike. We wanted the kids to be able to see Mike this weekend and know that he is OK, but it will be good to not have to worry about them. Hanging out in a hospital is no fun for anyone and they've had more than their fair share of it.
I know just walking those hospital halls must bring back such memories for you. I wish I could be there and give you a big warm hug and tell you everything will be all right. No, what I really want is your Mom to be there and give you that hug. Just keep telling yourself, it's not the same, this is a preemptive strike you have made to protect Mike's future. Soon he will be home and this will be a distant memory. Love to you all.
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